“Family is a great deal of suffering”: a study of cases of children “returned”

Abstract

The goal of this work is to discuss the motivations expressed by individuals who decided to adopt a child but later returned him/her to the Justice system. Studies on this subject are rare yet reveal the difficulties encountered by adults when confronting the idealized child with the real one. After a research based on court documents, where 10 adoption processes were consulted, we came to the conclusion that, in all of them, the children themselves were blamed for the adoption failure. In the different situations analyzed, we highlight the following characteristics: difficulties presented by the adults when dealing with difference, not being able to handle frustrations, the lack of attachment, and the incapacity to contain the child’s aggressiveness and give it a meaning.